Dear Simon, (The Guy I Thought Had Ghosted Me)
Hello, my name is NotSoSexintheCity and I am an asshole. Not only am I an asshole, but I also jump to conclusions and apparently don’t have a very good handle of modern technology.
I need to tell you a story. May this story serve as not only entertainment and light afternoon reading, but also as a warning. Are you ready?
Bestie: ”Hey, are you aware that your WhatsApp has been broken for like three days? Messages aren’t sending to you. I’m only getting one tick. Everyone else is getting my messages…”
Me: ”Really? How odd. Let me have a look. No wonder my phone had been so quiet!”
I have a jailbroken iPhone. I’m one of those girls who just can’t leave things alone. If you can jailbreak it, I’ll jailbreak it. If I can tweak it to make it better, I will. I’m a nerdy girl. I can build computers, fix stuff, that kind of thing. Only with computers or phones though, I probably wouldn’t trust me with a power tool.
I’d downloaded a tweak to make WhatsApp better. Except it hadn’t made it better, it had blocked everyone’s messages for three days. My outgoing messages were fine, two ticks, blue ticks, no worries there. But nothing incoming. After removing the tweak and checking order had been restored with Bestie, I had a little thought as to who might have sent me messages I wouldn’t have received. I went through the list and messaged clients, family, friends, landlord, etc. who I’d been talking to prior, and that’s when I realised something … Three days? That’s Saturday. Otherwise known as the same day Simon, my newest Tinder crush and receiver of a rather aggressive blog post / letter from my wonderful conclusion-jumping self, stopped talking to me.
Fuuuuuuuck.
He hadn’t ghosted me at all. I’d ghosted him. By accident. And then SLATED him for every one of my blog readers and Twitter followers to see. And I called him by his first name. I am seriously smacking my own head against a brick wall right now.
I mulled things over for a while. I could never mention it again. My blog / Twitter peeps would never know. No one would need to know how stupid, and perhaps a little irrational, I’d been. I hadn’t even thought of texting him instead of WhatsApp-ing him as Bestie later suggested. Again, another face palm.
But then I realised something. I was genuinely gutted when I thought he had ghosted me, enough to get that angry about it. Was I really going to let this seemingly great guy slide right through my fingers, just so I could keep a grip on my pride and dignity? All for the sake of not wanting to admit I’d made a mistake?
Nope. I’m not that girl. So here I am, admitting my mistake. I don’t even know if it was my mistake but I do know that I feel genuinely sorry for the words I said about him. I’m a little ashamed too, but I’ve said them, you’ve read them, I’ll own up to being a complete and utter cunt. Simon wasn’t the cunt at all.
I tarred him with the same brush as all of those other ghosting assholes out there. And what makes things even worse is that he’d been getting my messages, I just hadn’t got his, so to him I just look mental. Beyond mental. And he’s going to think that I ghosted him! How the fuck am I going to get out of this? Can I even get out of it? Is it even worth me trying?
Well, I have admitted the error of my ways to you, and very publicly, I would like to apologise to Simon, the man I thought had ghosted me. I am a genuine asshole and I’m sorry. And now I’m going to admit the error of my ways to him. I found his number and I’m going to text him.
This is what I’ve come up with … Wish me luck!!
Hello, it’s NSSITC. I didn’t know whether to message you or not, and I totally get it if you don’t text back, but I owe you a whopping apology it seems. I thought you had ‘ghosted’ me, AKA the practice of literally ignoring a girl one day until she eventually gets the hint and leaves you alone. It’s happened to me a couple of times… It was brought to my attention about 15 minutes ago that my WhatsApp hasn’t been receiving incoming messages since Saturday. I have fixed that (Jailbreak tweak – I’m such an asshole), but I have worked out that’s about the time you stopped messaging me back … So, I’m so sorry for not responding – I hadn’t received any of your messages. And I’m so sorry for thinking you’d ghosted me. I’m well aware that I look a million percent nuts now, but if you take a peek, you’ll probably find that your messages to me only have one tick – I haven’t gotten any of them ? I just felt I owed you an explanation. I hope you are well. And if you don’t text me back, I get it. But I was gutted when I thought you’d just fucked me off, so imagine how gutted I was when I realised it was my phone all along …
Thanks so much for reading my blog today! 🖤
Want to read more about my dating disasters? How about these:
